Wednesday, October 13, 2010
If you want to continue following this blog...
I don't really like how people anywhere on the internet have access to my blog because a heading I may apply gets linked with all others like it when a search is performed. Kinda weirds me out so...if you'd like to keep checking up on my posts, just leave me your email address and I'll be sure you maintain access. Other than that, after October, I'm closing to the public! :D
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Cupcake Dialogues by Geneen Roth
Click HERE to read the entire article.
Here's a conversation I had with the previously mentioned Cupcake Student:
Cupcake Student: I want cupcakes.
Me: What about the cupcakes do you want so much?
Cupcake Student: I want the sweetness. I want the richness. I want the feeling of it in my mouth.
Me: When you have one in your mouth, how do you feel?
Cupcake Student: I feel calm, I feel loved, and I feel like everything is good.
Me: So, it seems as if what you really want is to feel loved, calm and relaxed.
Cupcake Student: Uh-oh. Is this a trick? Did you just talk me out of wanting cupcakes?
Me: Nope. You can still choose to have them if you really want them. We're just trying to figure out what it is you really want when you say you want cupcakes.
Cupcake Student: Well, okay then, I do want to feel loved, calm and relaxed.
Me: How about giving yourself permission—just for a minute—to want that? To want love?
Cupcake Student: But what if I know I can't have it? I just got divorced and I'm not dating anyone. What's the point of wanting love when I can't have it?
Learning Your Heart's Desire
Yes, that is million-dollar question number two: What's the point of wanting something you can't have? Why not spare yourself the pain and turn to something you can have—food—instead?
Here's a conversation I had with the previously mentioned Cupcake Student:
Cupcake Student: I want cupcakes.
Me: What about the cupcakes do you want so much?
Cupcake Student: I want the sweetness. I want the richness. I want the feeling of it in my mouth.
Me: When you have one in your mouth, how do you feel?
Cupcake Student: I feel calm, I feel loved, and I feel like everything is good.
Me: So, it seems as if what you really want is to feel loved, calm and relaxed.
Cupcake Student: Uh-oh. Is this a trick? Did you just talk me out of wanting cupcakes?
Me: Nope. You can still choose to have them if you really want them. We're just trying to figure out what it is you really want when you say you want cupcakes.
Cupcake Student: Well, okay then, I do want to feel loved, calm and relaxed.
Me: How about giving yourself permission—just for a minute—to want that? To want love?
Cupcake Student: But what if I know I can't have it? I just got divorced and I'm not dating anyone. What's the point of wanting love when I can't have it?
Learning Your Heart's Desire
Yes, that is million-dollar question number two: What's the point of wanting something you can't have? Why not spare yourself the pain and turn to something you can have—food—instead?
Martha Beck:
"There is always at least one thing you could do besides eating, something that would take better care of you than food does. (How do I know this? Because food is a physical substance, and a physical substance can only fill physical hunger. It cannot—and was never meant to—provide the things that only other people can provide, things like love and contact and comfort.)"
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